my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
