My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
