the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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