Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize