Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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