I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
