all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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