They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
my poor anus
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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