Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
