i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
please come you make the beer taste better
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She told me I should be a condom model.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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