Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
