I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
True strength comes from lack of pants
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
