Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
