One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
