it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
