Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
