buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
