i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
