I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
