I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
