so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
