I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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