Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
