You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
