You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
