I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
