okay pat passed out under dana's car
you would pick up someone in the library
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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