I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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