I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
