So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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