Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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