We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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