you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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