So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
