but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
