weddingsv make me drug and hornr
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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