don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
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My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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