You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
