Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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