Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
and she was petting her beer can
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
