i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my mouth tastes like poor choices
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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