I wish I only lived at night.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize