My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
