eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
