Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
