dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize