I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
