so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize