Rock
Scissors
Fuck
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The power of my boobs compel you
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize