Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
