Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
