If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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