You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
