At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
operation have a gay friend backfired
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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