dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
