There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
of course. lets lasso hookers.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
