For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
